Dear Self,
I know there are a number of frustrations you feel being in seminary. It is a tough place to be. But it will give you some basic instruction and skills on how to handle yourself when you get out there in the “real” church.
But I also want you to know you have the skills and experience to handle yourself in difficult situations. You’re experience in the corporate environment will also aid you as you go.
You will need these because you are going to experience things seminary will not prepare you for. Some will be easy, some will be very, very hard.
Some night you are going to be the target of an unprovoked verbal attack, and it is going to happen in a large church meeting. You are going to be falsely accused and this person is going to do all he can to destroy your character for his audience. He will stand 2 feet away from you, flinging hurtful words towards you as he reads from his well prepared statement. Your muscles will tighten and begin to twitch. You will feel extremely uncomfortable. You will surpress a laugh as he makes wild accusations that you are a bully (a rather ironic statement coming from him).
The focus of his tirade against you will be a very small thing that is only important to him, but you know it is just part of a much larger issue. Don’t worry, because there is nothing you can do to avoid it. You will have done what you can. You will have executed your call to ministry to the best of your ability. Is it perfect? No it is not. You are human and therefore will always fall short. But I know you won’t beat yourself up over it.
Ultimately the issue is his. The church had made its decision previously, and he was unable to live with it. He took it out on you because your are the threat to his power and control of the church. Something he has fought to hold onto for decades.
He will finish his letter. He will state his intention to resign from the committees on which he serves. He will then bend over at the waist, look you in the face, smile, and say, “So… Reverend… The secretary will receive a copy of this letter, and I will take my leave.” And out he will go.
You will thank him on his way out the door, because you will not stoop to his level.
The room will sit in silence for a moment. You will look down at the agenda and continue the meeting.
The actions of one man will not impede the work and the spirit of this great and wonderful church you serve. They have been working too hard to stop now.
You will have done what you can. You will have extended a hand of friendship to him many times and he stabbed you in the back for it. At least this time he had the guts to face you as he stabbed you in the heart. But don’t worry, the wound will be quickly covered by those who love and appreciate you in the room after he leaves.
Hold your head high my friend. The actions of one man cannot break you, because the church will remind you of how much they appreciate the work you do for them. It is shown in their response on this night.
So continue to endure the trials of the paths to completing higher education and ordination. Believe it or not, but the thick skin you are building now will help you in the future. You know it’s not going to be easy, you know there will be tests of your leadership and character, and you are ready.
Just don’t forget to keep praying, even for those who persecute you. Yes, even him.
Blessings in Christ,
The future you.